If you are wondering about my suppressed smile as I read my emails- its is from my true love. Yes, just like the multiple Disney movies that I have seen, I have finally found a Prince Charming to call my own. A fairy tale world made up of constant emailing and sweet words whispered into my ear as we make love. Little do I know that my emotions are putting up a wall that I think I am protected by, but can tumble easily with a few drinks or a lapse of judgment. What feels like security, is actually a relationship so fragile- hanging on by a thread. He is worth the risk though, because my feelings of bliss with him means more to me than the world.
I am selfish- I only care about myself. And worse: I care about my present self. I have no sympathy for the future me and inevitable pain that I will feel. I ignore it all and keep smiling that suppressed smile of mine.