So basically my first night at the YMCA was not great. My head was full and played past events over and over. It’s okay though. I’m sure tonight will be better. Little by little my shell is cracking and I am starting to want to not leave Singapore. I feel like it would be such a blast to go around and travel more. Through meeting all of these people in these short past two weeks, I feel like I have a whole lot to take back with me to Japan. A lot of stories. Thats what it’s all about through right? I hope that I can continue to learn to think in many other ways. I can take the insomnia as all my thoughts processing- shaving away the negative thoughts and emotions until you are left with nothing but a delightful memory to look back on. Your thought life makes you or breaks you. Think right.
I drew this picture and wrote this post (不眠) because I was not able to sleep while I was in Singapore. I had done something very immature and stupid and I could not get it out of my head all night. It left me with an interesting sketch, but I would like to try very hard from now on to not let history repeat itself.
I wrote this in Bali when I was feeling *ahem* exceptionally grateful. The following is a lot of random sentences and a lot of venting. I thought it was funny though because of the slightly contrasting themes of the whole paragraph and the very last sentence. We all have someone to thank or things to be thankful for. What good things happened to you today?
How to draw…..how you say…. beautiful?
You can learn to draw pretty by staring at pretty things of long periods at a time.Maybe by even letting them happen. Some awesome things I’ll just list: Met a guy named Theo at the coffee shop. Made friends with two cool Israeli girls. Had lunch at the synagogue. Drank Starbucks. I feel like this trip has been turing out very beautifully, and I have the Fukadas and the people I met to thank. Not to mention God who plays and pulls the strings for me.
But I think I am tipsy now.
Sometimes I feel like my life is hanging by a thread. Sometimes I feel like whoever is holding that thread will drop it one day, leaving me by myself, plummeting into the wild ocean beneath. I do not know what exactly is waiting for me in this life, but what I do know is that I am being held by something gentle. Because even though it feels like the rope will snap any second, there will be a way for me to float. The ride looks dangerous and you may not want to try, but by the time its over, you may find yourself wishing you could go on again.
This is the second in a series of sketches that I drew while I was in Singapore. You can see more of an explanation in my first post here: Click me!
I started this series without thinking how much I would need it during my time in Singapore and Bali this past New Years. I felt very alone and creating these sad looking images helped me deal with those emotions. There are a total of six images in the series. I don’t know if more will be added later. Looking back on the pictures, the feelings that I had during that time come back to me in one big swoop and I revisit that lonely place in my head. It is all a memory and life has brought me new challenges to face. Little by little I feel myself becoming stronger. I hope the words that came to me and the art that I drew can help you become stronger as well.
The Anatomy of a Teardrop
Tears speak volumes. They speak of happiness, sorrow, and hate to name a few. Each of us cry for his or her own reasons, but rather than just explain them as salt water coming from your tear ducts, it would be pleasant to think that each one has its now personality and its own story to be told, waiting for you to come and ask to tell it. You won’t find the explanation under a microscope, just as you won’t be able to see how much their heart is hurting even if its right in front of you. However, just because you cannot see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Search for it, and find those stories. The beauty of it all is when someone else’s tears become yours as well.