She played

I jotted this down while listening to my friends violin concert. I haven’t seen her in five years, and I was so impressed with her violin playing. 

photo-169The melodies move in a way I can’t explain. They are speaking to me but I don’t know the language. I listen hard and hope to decipher it. This language that couldn’t have come from us but belongs, and will forever be the tongue of the gods. Listen, take care, and they may grant you the miracle of being able to connect to a single note or phrase. The musician is the door to this language. I can’t believe I have known this woman for over 10 years. Oh, how she has changed yet the essence of her burns bright. When she plays, she looks up to the heavens, revealing to the audience the diamonds in her eyes. Then looks away, and she focuses, hiding her ivory stare. Oh, how beautiful she is. Oh, how beautiful her playing is. Oh, how amazing it must be to connect to something that is as wonderful as music. Oh, how fine it must be to speak the language of the gods.

Hearing her play made me transition into the world I want to forever be in. Not this current dream that I am living and have been living for as long as I can remember. Through her music I have seen possibilities and chances that I have not taken. I want to snatch them. I want to take them and make them apart of me. I want to feel the beauty in my bones and wake up. Not with groggy eyes, taking minutes to rub away the sleep. I want to look around and see the art of life. To smile at the unanswered questions. To love the who, what, when, where, why, and how of every situation and not be afraid of it. To not be afraid of mistakes. To own up to the lies I tell. To make up for all of the disappointments. To learn to say goodbye to people- even to those that love you. You have to go. Something, somewhere is calling you but you don’t know how to get there. You have to find it. You have to follow the voice. It needs you there for a reason and you are where you are for a reason. Something, somewhere is calling for you to come home.


The Train Stories: The girl from the North


I dance with my cello.

It sways back and forth.

Just like the way I’d hold

The girl I met in the North.

I’d give her melodies of detail.

My fingers that jump along frets.

I gave them to her to hold.

It was the letting go I regret.

So today I use this bow.

To someday play you back.

I now write songs of white,

Instead of those I had painted black.

The Train Stories: What the Gods dropped


We stand in awe of this thing called music.

It is so familiar to us yet so foreign.

Like it should not belong here on this earth.

It isn’t of this earth and it seems we were not meant to receive it.

The Gods dropped it here by accident and we would not let them have it back since.

The Gods can’t have all of the fun.

I just love this place.

A great many exciting things happened this week. We welcomed a new addition to the family: a heater. We were growing in desperate need of one because the temperature here in Japan had suddenly dropped.
With a lot more reasons to stay inside, I have been thinking and slowing down a bit more. I am still sick and I love these lazy days where I stay in and drink tea all evening.
Yesterday, I visited the organic cafe’ in my area for the fourth time this week. I feel as if I could go there every day and not get tired of it. You would feel the same way I am sure.
I will list some reasons why, and if any of you have a place similar to this, please let me know.

1. The music is different each time I go. The woman in charge plays the same artist throughout the day, but a different artist and genre everyday.

1. The atmosphere is cute and cozy. The seats are all different with the only thing in common being that they are all comfortable. The lighting is good and doesn’t strain your eyes.

1. It is close to the station and from my house it takes less than ten minutes to walk. I just walk down the hill and I am there

1. Don’t get me started on the food. She changes up the menu everyday. Mutsumi serves mostly organic and vegetarian meals with a plethora of tastes and spices to please the palate. When you come in the smell of the ingredients hits your nose right away.

1. Though Mutsumi is friendly and always has a smile on when I come in, she gives me my space when I do my reading or projects. Welcoming, yet distant in a good way.

I just love this place. If anyone happens to be in Nara, Japan I would highly recommend it.


A sweet transition

With new goals at hand, I feel a little more awake. I have discovered a new love for sitting in the local organic cafe’. I have Demian on my left and just finished a sketch of the kitchen in front of me. All the details of the buttons on the oven to the spoons and ladles in the pots. It was a very exciting sketch.

While I was sitting here, time ceased to exist and when I came out of my drawing trance, I didn’t know how many hours had passed. I carried no watch or Itouch for the first time in years. It was a curious feeling, and I sat and wondered if this was what living in the now felt like.

I had a satisfying lunch here at Mother Beans. It was a beautiful-looking egg and veggie sandwich with soup on the side. Though it was pleasing to my tastebuds, my stomach didn’t seem to agree and was upset until I left the shop. I listened to the songs the shop played on repeat to the point where I think I could sing along with the entire track.

I would have to say, this Friday was a sweet transition to the copy 2

I’ve still got a job to do.

I’ve still got a job to do.

There are still a lot of different kinds of people that I have to meet. There are seven billion people on this earth and I apparently know a little more than two thousand of them. There are so many more kinds of thinking to be exposed to and so many more people to give high-fives to.

 I’ve still got a job to do.

There are still bushes that I have to dig out of my yard. There will always be another thing to clean and there will always be some more laundry to do. It seems like it will never end and it most likely won’t, but at least appreciate you have the abilities to try something new.

 I’ve still got a job to do.

There are so many different kinds of foods that I have not tried. And there are so many different kinds of dishes that I have not made. My palate is not even close to satisfied, so fill this eager plate.

 I’ve still got a job to do.

So many languages to learn, millions of books to read, so many kinds of music to hear. How can you be tired in a world like this? There is always something happening and moving. Find it, appreciate it, and don’t complain about being bored of living.

 I’ve still got a job to do.

There are still presents and thank you notes I need to send to all of you lovely people. There are still plenty of more smiles and hugs to give out. Plenty of more time to make people happy and secret handshakes to figure out.

 I’ve still got a job to do.

There are still so many who have less of what I have. Many more donations to give and more prayers to whisper and more tears to shed. When it seems like you can’t do anything, the small gestures show that you did.