Three…three…oh three’s…


Run run run to catch the train.
Stand stand stand to lift the pain
Cry cry cry though there is no need
Hurt hurt hurt oh how your mind bleeds.

Wish wish wish till you go insane
Hope hope hope to stop this game
Grow grow grow learn from mistakes
Wince wince wince hide my face.

Stop stop stop I think too much
Sigh sigh sigh don't leave my love 
Go go go please do something else
Bye bye bye forever to my awful self

The Train Stories: No Sleep

photo-120“There is no sleep in this life” is what I wrote next to this image that I drew sometime back. We are constantly moving. Constantly changing. Constantly trying to better ourselves while failing twice as much.  Today I came across two quotes that stood out to me.  One from the movie, “The Chosen”. A beautiful movie. In the film, the father is working hard on his project,  and his son wants him to rest. With that, the father replies, “Only a life of meaning is worthy of rest”. That hit me. He is pushing himself to the limit and fighting for what he believes in. What does my life mean? I am here complaining about things with no depth while I could be working harder. Along with that quote I found one by Leonardo Da Vinci: ” I have offended God and mankind because my work didn’t reach the quality it should have”. With those two stuck in my head, I feel ashamed. It is too easy for me to slack off and not do anything. I can only hope that someday I will be worthy of my rest.

Where do you put your steps?



Do you ever feel like these steps? Every time I pass this in my neighborhood I am reminded that I need to direct my efforts in the right way and work smart. You can build stairs in all the spots you want, but if you don’t have a goal or a place you want to go, you won’t get anywhere. You will just get tired from going up and down aimlessly. 

Security Cameras and Sandcastles

Do you constantly monitor yourself and ask how you can improve? Do you see how you can be a better person, friend, sister, daughter, artist, musician, et cetera? It can be tiring to have the security cameras on all the time, but if you do not have them running you feel like something is missing. I become very uneasy when I decided to unplug and relax.

How do you combat nagging feelings of procrastination and dreariness? How can you move on in life through mud that is trying to keep you below the surface. Can you keep a sane mind when emotions are running rampant? I don’t think anyone has the answer. In fact, I do not believe that one answer exists.
What I find to be a good rule of thumb is that if you learn how to tell the truth and learn to play nice with the rest of the kids in the sandbox, then you will be able to lead a contented life. When people steal your shovels and kick dirt in your eyes, doing likewise won’t turn sour feelings sweet. When your sandcastle crumbles or gets kicked to the ground, you simply have no choice but to build another one and remember how fun it is to keep playing.

Brilliant Storytellers

It’s amazing how much drama we make up in our head. I don’t think that it is something that just girls do- but we do tend to
have a wilder imagination. Male and female both, we all are brilliant storytellers- fabricating stories in our minds and thus creating our own reality. We fill in the blanks because we just don’t know the truth. We become depressed over things that we don’t know is true or even a reality yet. These thoughts come with their full fury into our minds with fear propelling it. What we make up becomes our reality and we get mad and upset over stories. 

Of course there are bad situations that we can’t change, but making them worse than they are will not help you change the actual situation. We each have our own complicated hearts, and it would be wrong to judge people before we understand the whole situation. The goal must be to have clarity in all that you do. Be your own therapist and keep helping yourself though the process.

Find the peace.

After having so much eternal struggle these past two weeks, it all seemed to disappear for an instant this evening. As I was sitting on the train, I looked up from my cellphone as so did a young lady about the same age as me. We smiled at each other and I felt so much happiness in that one moment. It is a great feeling when both hearts are on the same page and there is no awkwardness or feelings left unexplained. As I mentioned in the beginning, I have been struggling a lot mentally, but I am thankful for two particular people who gave their time to listen and their open arms for a hug. 

I argue with myself that I cannot change people because it is not my place to. There are so many shortcomings in my own life that are difficult to make up for, so I can understand how difficult it can be to change. I have learned that we can not force growth upon others. All we can do is find those that will inspire you to keep moving.
Today was the first day my mind was calm and peaceful. When you have those moments of frustration, it is best to always keep holding on to the fact that no matter what, it will all okay.
Another good quote that I have from the past week is the following:
If you never give up on something you truly want, you are set.
How do you find peace in your own lives? Please share.