Nagano: She’s from America

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I woke up in the morning on my fourth day and last full day in Nagano. I was both relieved and saddened that it had gone by so quickly. I wanted to make the best out of the last day that I had.

A big topic these days in Japan is the political elections. The topic came up the night before and during breakfast because it was being shown on TV. I can’t vote, so I wasn’t able to contribute a lot to the conversation. Yoshida-san is a very open man, but when I asked him about who he was voting for he told me that it was a secret.

After breakfast, we started working on something new: separating potatoes. It took about an hour or so to get them all done.

Because I mentioned music yesterday, I saw him bring his radio to the garden this time. We were listening to the Christmas music that was being played over and over while planting onions. I was listening to a Japanese version of Au Lang Syne while the snow blowed in my face.

The last event of the day was Onsen. I love Onsen, but unfortunately I don’t get out as much as I’d like to.

This one was huge, with multiple baths, with one of them being outside in the snow.

I am a very easy person to spot in these kinds of places. Dirty-blond, blue eyes, white. I just felt all these eyes on me and I didn’t like it. Being in the country, I am sure you don’t get many Western faces, but still.

After a while inside, I decided to check out the outside bath. It was cold for a second, but once I hopped in it was heaven. There were a few people in the bath, but a couple of them left just as soon as I got in and so remained one sweet-looking elderly lady.
I make conversation with strangers easily, so we started talking. She told me she was wondering I could speak Japanese or not, so when I said something she was surprised. She told me that she has lived in America before. I told her that I was born here and have never lived anywhere else. In the middle of the conversation, she called her granddaughter over and said, “Look! She’s from America. You’re studying English, right? Say ‘How are you’! Say your name! This is your chance to practice!”. Because of that she got really shy and wouldn’t look me in the eye. It was only when I started speaking Japanese to her was when she actually got curious. After the conversation, I wasn’t feeling good, and I left the bath. This kind of “speak to the foreigner” thing happens to me often, and most times I don’t mind. This time I minded.

As I was looking in the mirror, my face was bright red. I wanted to take my face off then and replace it with one that would fit in more. As I was blow-drying my hair, Yoshida-san’s words came to my head, You can not change anyone but yourself. I knew that I took it too seriously, but sometimes it is just difficult to look over your own problems.

Looking back, I feel better about it now, but this is what I jotted down while I was sitting there:

I really do have a complex. Oh, how I want to fit in so bad sometimes. Back home in Kansai I don’t feel the pressure as much because of the environment I am in, but yes I feel it here. I have been with them for four days and I just wish I could be someone else. Sometimes I just wish I could be someone else.

Now like I said above, it is the environment. I was not used to it, but I went through it. I now want to go back because all the good that I received overcame the negativity. There are just so many wonderful things that I would have never experienced had I been born Japanese. I am so grateful to be where I am and to be who I am. A girl with an American passport, who is from this funny country called Japan.

How to start a conversation and make friends

By show of hands, who believes in luck?

I don’t know what to call it, but when my walk was coming to an end this past Friday, I was afraid. I was afraid that my good luck streak would run out someday. I was worried that my life and the experiences would become boxed and patterned; packaged nicely for all of the readers. I was worried about becoming fake.

My moods tend to pinball around, and that morning I felt pretty good about myself. I planned to go sketching. I also planned not to plan. I would go where my nose took me, and hoped things would work out. They did, and I ended up having a great day.

At my station, I managed to get into the same elevator as a man from my neighborhood who I had been wanting to meet for ages. He has art sitting outside of this house all of the time. In rain or shine, the Renoir and Picasso copies stay out. I pass that house every time I walk home, and my pace tends to slow down when I walk by The Painting House. I never could find a good excuse to go and introduce myself, but now I had one. My first ten minutes out of the house seemed to be productive, and I told myself that if nothing else interesting happened the rest of the day, I would be happy with just that chance meeting.

I decided on the platform to always look up. No books. Though books are great and much better than watching TV, I find that after reading I come out of some sort of haze. I feel dull and unobservant.

I counted the number of people using cellphones in the train car: 28. Basically everyone was using their cellphone except the young girl behind me. I glanced over at her paper and saw that it had English on it and I guessed that she was studying for a test. As soon as she saw me looking at the notes, she quickly pulled the paper away- slightly embarrassed. That had never happened before so I took that as my cue to chime up.

For those reading this book:

The trick is to say something before you can talk yourself out of it.

She was studying for a listening test at her university and that she had everything down pat but told me that she had no confidence in her English. It didn’t sound fun to study in the heat. I wished her good luck.

We parted ways and I went to the main tourist area of the city. For those who don’t know, I was born and raised in Japan and if I do anything that seems touristy, I start to feel uncomfortable. It pained me at first to take out a camera and take photos of the most iconic things in the area. But the ego slowly calmed down and I got used to it. Though I come to this area all of the time, I felt like I was in a different country because I was more aware. I heard different languages (mostly Chinese) and smelled different smells. My favorite smell being the Lush Stores with air-conditioning. On the opposite side of the spectrum, nothing smells worse to me than Ramen on a hot day. Kudos to the workers who don’t use nose plugs.

After some mindless wandering and photo taking, I ended up in Starbucks. Not exactly exotic, but it did the job. While sitting down for a bit with my well deserved sandwich and a book in hand, I noticed other travelers who also decided to get a Frapacchino. Backpackers, couples, families, it was nice to see.

I went back to glancing at my book and two Germans came in looking for a seat. I was hogging a table of two so I told them they could have my spot. One of them was super tall with long arms. He reminded me of the Abominable Snowman from Monsters Inc. He was also just as friendly and invited me to sit with them. We talked for a while with the running theme of the conversation being, “Never become a flight attendant.”

I had a great day but I found myself in a less-hopeful mood towards the end. Asking again, what do you believe about luck? Is it something that is given to you, or is it something that you make yourself? I’d like to believe it is the latter. You can have all the luck in the world, but if you don’t act on it, you miss the chance for a fun ride.

Just ask these two: